This is going to be a more personal post.
I believe one of the most important aspects in life is internal wellness. What I define internal wellness as is – A state in which you are content with life. No stress, not feeling overwhelmed, feeling at peace.
On the daily basis, most people are burdened with the burden of stress and the sense of being overwhelmed. I for one am apart of the majority that does.
Ever since I started school, I was seen as the child that was going to be the scholar of the family. The one who gets all of the good grades, the one in all of the AP and honor classes, the one who will get a scholarship no doubt. My parents gloated to their friends about my high grades; pretty much straight A’s every year I’ve been in school. Although it seems like a dream to some, don’t get me wrong I find it as a blessing to be granted with all of this knowledge, I find it as a burden on myself sometimes. I strive and push myself past my own limits to exceed and get good grades. I joined all of the AP and honor courses I good to make my parents proud of me. I would put myself down if I got a grade below a solid B.. I got to the point of where I would breakdown.
Putting so much pressure on myself, I developed a bad case of anxiety. Whenever I think of the work I have to do (and having the mindset that I HAVE to get a good grade), I have a panic attack. My heart palpitates, I shake excessively, I cry, I have a hard time breathing- I am a full on mess. I never did tell my parents when that happened.
The reason I bring that up is because lately I have been feeling completely overwhelmed. I cried earlier just out of nowhere. I didn’t know what was going on. I literally cried out “Please! Please help me realize what’s affecting me emotionally and mentally. Please help me lift this burden.. What did I do wrong?”
“What did I do wrong?” That is not something you should be questioning when this sense of overwhelmingness occurs. I sat there for a good 20 minutes thinking of all of the possible reasons on why this happened. Ultimately I came to the conclusion that I am putting too much stress on myself with trying to be an overachiever. I gave myself a full list of everything to do get ahead – 1 month ahead.. I realized I need to take a step back. A step back from overburdening myself with loads of work.
I believe everyone needs to focus on their internal wellness. They need to pay attention to their mindset. Take a step back and breathe. When you’re overwhelmed, do something that makes you happy. If you’re stressed or overwhelmed, figure out the cause and think of ways that can help you without bringing upon the negativity.
I hope everyone is having an amazing day/afternoon/night. ❤