When I first started the journey to a healthier lifestyle, I didn’t realize how much patience it was going to take. The time we live in right now is focused on having things in the now. In the beginning, I wanted it to take as less time as possible to drop the pounds. I will admit it, I had some unrealistic goals in the beginning. Hearing how some people dropped 5 pounds in a week made me want to have that happen every single week.
At first, it was going that way, because I worked my booty off. ( I say that both literally and figuratively. ) When I came to a plateau, I became made at myself, because I thought I was not working hard enough. I would punish myself, because I thought I was giving up on myself, when in reality, I was going beyond what I should have done. I followed every “diet rule” there was out there. I would not eat past 6, I never touched anything that was considered a “dirty food,” I gave everyone a hard time when they would cook, I would over work myself. That worked for a little bit, but then I came to another plateau.
Being the naive girl I was, I thought that little to no eating would help me reach my “goal weight.” I was to the point where I would not even exceed 500 calories. Yes, you read that number right. I would burn off every calorie I inhaled. I was so fatigued, but I thought it was worth it. When I saw that number drop, I was “happy.” I destroyed my body. I destroyed it in so many ways. I completely messed up my hormones, some of my organs almost failed, I now have really fragile bones, I lost my period for 2 years, I lost hair by the chunks, I was depressed and that led to some tragic results.
While in recovery, I realized that the process was going to take time. In the beginning, I was too stubborn to face that fact. I wanted results as fast as I could get them. I put my health at such great risk, but I was too gullible to do research on my own.
What I realize now, is that this journey is going to take time, patience, and persistence. In recovery, I followed a macro plan, because I was advised to in order to make sure that I was eating enough and getting enough nutrients to my body. Seeing the number rise in calories and weight scared me at first. I’m not going to lie, I felt like falling back into my old ways, but I was starting to actually look alive again. I was not as pale, I was not as boney, I was not always so tired, my hair was not falling out, and I was feeling happier. I stopped exercising for a while, because I needed my body to recover. I would go on walks, but that was about it. In that time, I did my research. I found that it will take time to build strength. I found the proper way to nourish my body as well as my soul. I found ways to help with journey; Primarily they were through social media websites and WordPress blogs.
I am still recovering from the damage that has been done, but I have obtained so much knowledge over the past few years. I nourish my body with foods that are good for my body, that give me energy, that make me feel good, and I also eat food that is good for my soul. I workout, because I now love to it. It is not a form of feeling like a burden. It’s my therapy, it’s my passion, it is what I love to do. I have a better relationship with my friends and family. I don’t hold back when asked to go out. I don’t decline going to restaurants or to a get together. I am so much more happier now.
Every day is a new step along in the journey. I learn new things about myself every day. Times do get tough, but I keep my head up and push on through. Bad times do not last forever. They are just a bump in the road that can be recovered from. If you’re on the journey now, just remember that there will be trial and error. There will be times when life gets tough. Just know that you are doing good for yourself, it is about balance, and it will all be worth it no matter what. ❤
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