Hey, everyone! Remember me? I know I have been in and out of the blog world over the course of the past few months, but I did it all for good reasons. Of course I am still reading blogs, but I have been really trying to work on myself. For quite some time I haven’t really felt like myself. You know what I mean? After sounding like a broken disc, I finally did reevaluate ALL aspects of my life: physical being, mentality, spiritual side, emotional being, relationships, my eating habits, and all that good jazz. What I found was that I was subconsciously holding onto aspect of my past that I thought I let go. Over the course of the past few months I finally let go. I’m about to get deep.. I mean real deep.. You ready for this?
Physically I let go of… objects from the past that no longer need to be in my life (old gifts from past relationships), the notebooks/letters/notes from the time period during my depression, deleting contact with the people I don’t talk to anymore, photos with people from past relations with people that only brought me down, sad songs, and old clothes. I never thought that letting go of all of this stuff would just release this huge weight off of my shoulders. Once I burned and threw out the past, I smiled. It was hard for me to do, and I had second thoughts, but what was the point of holding onto the past when it would possibly hold me back from moving forward in the future. Not seeing and knowing that I got rid of the bad felt good. Do yourself a favor and do the same. I know it may be hard, but what’s the point of holding on at this point?
Mentally I let go of… the perception that I had to look and act a certain away, counting calories, holding onto feelings of the past, hurting over broken relationships, the negativity that was in my lift, thinking I have to be strong all of the time, the barrier that kept the tears in, the idea that I wasn’t good enough, the idea that I wasn’t strong enough, the idea that I wasn’t worthy of what I am. For so long I talked down upon myself, because I thought that all I did was mess up. I gave up on everything I couldn’t do right the first time. I was so weak. This was probably one of the hardest to do. I’ve set up so many walls in my life. It was hard breaking them down. It wasn’t a one day ordeal.. it took several months. I did this with the help of positive self talk, watching videos online of positive messages, reading, and talking to people. The chains finally feel broken. I finally feel free in my mind.
Spiritually I let go of… the barrier that was holding me back from God. Yes, I believe in God. I will admit it.. for so long I blamed God for all I couldn’t do. I know.. I know.. I feel ashamed for that. After praying and asking for forgiveness, I feel his love. I have put faith into him to take control. I’ve humbled myself to admit that I needed help.. I needed help in the process of cleansing the negativity and removing the boulders from the shoulders. I can’t even begin to describe how happy I have been since this all started.
Emotionally I let go of… all the negativity that was surrounding my life, the feeling of being worthless, the lingering eating disorder thoughts, the lingering thoughts of depression, my feelings from past relationships, feeling alone, feeling like I wasn’t strong enough, and basically anything that was just bringing me down. Like letting go of the mental aspects, this was hard for me to do. It was a day to day reoccurrence I saw on social media, television, and letting myself think of these feelings. Working with letting go of the others helped aid in this process. Will they be gone completely? I doubt it, but I will do everything I can to keep these feelings away.
I can’t even begin to describe how free and happy I feel. I have definitely been feeling like myself again. I actually even feel better than I did before. It really is amazing how much a cleanse can be for you. I have realized so much about myself over the course of the past few months. I am not afraid to feel my feelings. I’m not afraid to praise myself. I am not afraid to be confident. I’m not afraid to hold back. Of course I am humbling myself every day. I know I am not perfect. I’m just going to be the best person that I can be.
I will be back on the blog world more often now. I needed time for myself. We all do.
-Have you ever done a personal cleanse?
-What makes you happy?
-What makes you feel empowered?
-Your thoughts. 🙂
Connect with me!
Instagram -> @myhealthlyjourney
Twitter -> @xolovenatalie
Pinterest -> @xolovenatalie
E-mail -> firstname.lastname@example.org