Reset and Reintroduce

Good morning/afternoon/evening!

I have been wanting to reintroduce myself back into blogging for the past year, but once my spark sets in, it suddenly dwindles down to a meer dim. Wow, didn’t that sound like it came out of a book? Lol! But all jokes aside, I have been back and fourth with the thought of rekindling my blog or just deleting it all together. It has just been sitting there for a while – with far too many fails of revamping it back up -, but after much deliberation, I found that it was because I wanted to keep a strict schedule with it. Ya know that whole W.I.A.W, Fun Fridays, yadda yadda ya, but that’s very repetitive to me personally. By no means am I bashing anyone that does that, it’s just not for me. I do still get those e-mails from some of my favorite bloggers and checking up on their thoughts, foods, and victories.

I’ve even wanted to try youtubing! I bought a camera, tripod, and an editing software, but it just didn’t feel right to me. I felt like I wasn’t up to the expertise standards and it all just flopped. I want to start making videos so bad, but I just have a back-in-the-mind thought always preventing me. I’m hoping that blogging again will help give me that umph.. or is it oomph?.. to start creating content. For now, I want to start small. I want to reset and start by a reintroduction of myself.

My name is Natalie Marie (last name with be hidden… for now), and I am 19 years old. I go to Grand Canyon University to receive my Bachelors Degree in Elementary and Specials Education. I’ve gone back and forth with Psychology and a fitness centered degree, but ultimately teaching has my heart. The thing that has me already stressing – TWO WEEKS BEFORE I START – is that I have not three… not four… BUT FIVE CLASSES this semester!!!! WUT. I just…. oh lordy lordy lordy. I can’t imagine how much sleep I am going to lose over the next four months. You may be thinking (or not…), “four months? That’s not so bad! Law students and medical students have it far worse!” Yes.. yes.. yes… I have been watching a lot of How To Get Away With Murder, and I see how stressed the eff out they get, but I barely made it through four classes last year. By the way, I am obsessing over How To Get Away With Murder a.t.m.

I live at my boyfriend’s mom’s house out in AZ. She owns a rescue, so there are A LOT of dogs running around and A LOT of barks going on throughout all hours of the day and night. I also have an adorable puppy Crush. I remember it like yesterday when I held him at 6 weeks old and declared he was MINE instantly. You know it’s just one of those instincts you have when holding an animal and being like, “You’re mine now you precious little creature.” Well, that was what it was like with Crush. He looks DRAMATICALLY different than he did four months ago. He actually turns six months old today! Cue the puppy treats and toys! I spoil him so much, but I know he loves it!

I also have two hermit crabs, and two (soon to be three!) tortoises, and they are all my little babies. My hermit crab names are Miso and Roshi. Roshi is far more active whereas Miso just keeps to herself a lot of the time. My tortoises’names are Sheldon and Berry. My newest tortoises that should come this week is named Toby. I live with a lot of boys… good thing make-up keeps my girly side in tact.

I work at PetSmart as a pet care associate/professional dog bather. I am around a lot of animals, but I honestly love it. I would have gone into the animal field with being a vet, but I CANNOT under no circumstance can stand blood. Not even my own! One sight and I get dizzy instantly. I may have my own animal rescue one day, but that will be in the way future!

I’ve covered some basics, but let’s get down the the cookie-cutter traditional questions..

-Favorite animal: Owls

-Favorite color: purple and rose gold!

-Favorite movie: Titanic! (FOREVER AND ALWAYS) – I even have a tattoo of a quote from the movie!

-I do have five tattoos. (One Lion King, one Winnie the Pooh gang tattoo, two quotes, and a bunch of roses)

-I am obsessed with Disney. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

-Favorite song: Closer by the Chainsmokers and Halsey

-I love me some make-up. I may or may not have gone on a lot of make-up sprees a few months ago…

-I am VERY big on skin care. (Current skin care products shown below)

-I love love love love love coffee.

-I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. ❤

-I am very into planning, organizing, and making lists.

-I am a big foodie.

-I love to exercise even though I also love to be super freakin’ lazy.

-I have taken three public speaking classes, and only the last one has made me more comfortable talking to people in public.

-I am a natural blonde, but I am rockin’ the red hair now!

-Hazelnut anything is my jam!

-I was born in upstate New York, but I have lived in Arizona for a majority of my life.

-I had heart surgery at three years old.

-I am extremely clumsy.

-I only lasted as a vegetarian for two years.

-I want to live a minimalist life, but I have a problem of accumulating a lot of things in a short amount of time.

I can’t really think of any more facts, but if you happen to have any more questions, you can ask my below!

Also, if you wanna keep in touch with me, you can by clicking on the links below! I hope we can become great friends! 😀

 Instagram -> @hunnny.buns

 Twitter -> @Hunnnybuns_

 Snapchat -> @nataliexdarling

 Facebook -> /nataliexdarling

 E-mail -> lovenataliemarie@gmail.com

 Tumblr -> hunnnybuns

February Ipsy & BoxyCharm Review

Good morning/afternoon/evening! ❤

Over the course of the past few months, my love for beauty products have grown exponentially. For years I have watched probably over 1000 make-up tutorials, and my biggest inspiration has always been Michelle Phan. Seeing her grown as both a YouTuber and business women, it has given me that boost to finally venture on beyond mascara and eye liner to a full range of beauty products. I love expressing myself with different looks with different color pallets every day! Beauty products are something I invest in, because it is a major thing that makes me happy.

A few months ago, I learned that I could get boxes each month with beauty products to try out, and eventually buy if I like them that much! I get monthly boxes from Ipsy and BoxyCharm. For Ipsy, it costs $10/month for 4-5 travel/sample size products that match you answers on a survey that you take upon joining as a member. These products can be up to over $50. As for BoxyCharm, you receive 5-6 full size products for $21/month. They are not based on a survey, but the total of all of the products are up to over $100 in value.

I have tested out all of these products, and I want to share my experience and opinion of all them with you!

IPSY PRODUCTS:

1. Jessica Liebeskind Vintage lip gloss
   1. The color is beautiful on this product. Although I was not a big fan of the brush to apply the lip gloss, it did give me a sheen that could not be outmatched. It in a color I would put over a pink lipstick, because it does look a bit tacky on plain lips.
2. Margaret Dabbs London nail filer
   1. I didn’t understand what the product was at first until I looked it up. I found that there are fine crystals that make up the file for a clean cut file. The file did not apply much force, and it did its job. I was very happy with the end result. My nails turned out smooth and had no sharp edges.
3. Trust Fund Beauty nail polish in “I’m Kind of a Big Deal”
   1. When it comes to nail polish, I have a hard time finding a polish that that covers the area with thick coats. This nail polish came out thick, but not in a bad way. It provided a full covered, and there were no streak marks when applying an over coat. Plus, the color is super cute! 😀
4. Smashbox Photo Finish Primer Oil
   1. I’m still iffy about this product. Although it acts as a good primer, it leaves my hands feeling oily for a few washes. I like to stick to a lotiony primer, because it feels like it applies more coverage. The oil is lightweight, and it does a good job, but I can’t really get past the oiliness.
   2. 

      
5. Naked Cosmetics Mica Pigment
   1. I typically stick to tightly compacted pallet eye shadows, because they lack fallout, but this pigment was beautiful when blended with other eye shadows. As you could guess, this eye shadow is very pigmented. I thought it would be a but much with my fair skin, but it complimented both my blue eyes and red hair. There is a shimmer to it, and the sunlight really captures that. I would highly recommend it!

 

BOXYCHARM PRODUCTS:

1. Spongelle You Have My Heart on a String
   1. This body brush is great at exfoliating the skin! My skin felt a whole lot softer after using it the first time. The downside to it is the smell when it gets wet. It has a similar smell to Nair, and that smell makes me sick. I can get past that, because it is a great exfoliater, and my conditioner can out-smell it any day! 😉
2. Beauty for Real Blush – Glow Stick
   1. My skin is very fair, so both the blush and illuminator showed up very clearly on my cheeks. The blush gave my cheeks a subtle natural rosy look (which I adore), and the illuminator (paired with my BH Cosmestics Carli Bybel highlighter) gave my face a dewy finish. I am all about that glow! 😀
3. Shray Ms. Amazing Facial Mask
   1. The mask was very cold upon putting it on my face, and when I rubbed it in. It was a but painful at first (I’m a baby with the cold), but it started to feel very soothing once I let it settle. After taking off the mask, it left behind a thicker moisture to rub in. I noticed that my face felt softer and cleaner than usual in the morning!
4. Ofra Banana Powder Gadget
   1. I used this powder as a powder foundation instead of an eye shadow. It complimented my foundation and helped oxidize to a more natural shade. The powder actually helped tone down the redness in my face, and there was no oiliness or smearing at the end of the day.
5. Freeze 24/7 Anti-Aging Eye Serum
   1. I’ve only used the serum for the past few days, and I haven’t noticed that much of a difference. My bags haven’t been so badly lately, so I hope that it is helping with that. I don’t have any wrinkles or crows feet from using make-up, but I hope that this serum will help to keep it that way!
6. RealTree for Her
   1. I don’t wear perfume that often, but I do enjoy putting it on before school! It has a sweetier more flowery smell. It is a more intense smell after two sprits, but it is lovely. I would recommend it to perfume enthusiests. 🙂

 

Overall, I was impressed with all of the products. They had their pros and cons, but I cannot wait to see what I receive next month to review!

 

-Do you try monthly sample boxes?

-What are some of your favorite beauty products?

-Did any of these products capture your interest?

-What is something you did over the weekend?

——————-

 Instagram -> @hunnny.buns

 Twitter -> @Hunnnybuns_

 Snapchat -> @nataliexdarling

 Facebook -> /nataliexdarling

 E-mail -> lovenataliemarie@gmail.com

 Tumblr -> hunnnybuns

Currently . . . Feb. 2016

Good morning/afternoon/evening loves! ❤

I am slowly making my way into blogging again (by slow I mean a tortoise trying to walk through peanut butter slow!). It feels good to write everything out again and connect with the bloggers I used to read every single day! I typed up this post just before I have to head to class while sipping on some hazelnut coffee… mmmm. ❤ Today marks 1 year 4 months with the love of my life which even makes today that much more special. ❤ January was a good month for me, but February is already turning out to be even better!  mI thought I would share some currently’s, and hope to see what you are currently into as well! Without further ado…

 

Currently Reading . . . Mademoiselle Chanel by C.W. Gortner

Currently Listening to . . . We Found Love – Rihanna

Current Non-Guilty Pleasure . . . Napping, napping, and even more napping

Current Nail Color . . . Nude

Currently Drinking . . . Arizona Green Tea Zero

Currently Eating . . . Power Crunch Salted Caramel Energy Bars

Current Obsession . . . Sharp eyeliner wings 😉

Currently Wishing . . . to go back to Disneyland

Currently Needing . . . some cute dresses for the warmer weather

Current Bane of Existence . . . stress overload 😦

Current Indulgence . . . Make-up ❤

Current Procrastination . . . Making more videos…

Current Confession . . . I’m really bad at taking my fish oil pills everyday…

Current Blessing . . . I am getting more hours at work!

Current Excitement . . . I just started my first week of a 90-day challenge to kick start my fitness journey again!

Current Mood . . . Motivated af. 😀

Current Workout . . . Fast paced treadmill walking after lifting weights

Current Link . . . https://www.youtube.com/user/LaurDIY (literally obsessed <3)

Current App . . . Instagram!

 

-What are you currently indulging in?

-What are you currently excited for?

-What is your current blessing?

————————

 Instagram -> @hunnny.buns

 Twitter -> @Hunnnybuns_

 Snapchat -> @nataliexdarling

 Facebook -> /nataliexdarling

 E-mail -> lovenataliemarie@gmail.com

 Tumblr -> hunnnybuns

And We’re Off to Flagstaff, AZ!

Good afternoon! 🙂

I had the pleasure earlier this week to take a mini trip with my boyfriend to Flagstaff, AZ to go play in the snow before it all melted! It was kind of a last minute idea, but never-the-less we had an amazing time!

Also, I finally got the chance to film for the first time with my new camera that I got back a few months ago. I’ve been wanting to record videos for the longest time, but I’ve always shied out of actually filming a video. Although this was just testing the water to see how I felt with the camera, I actually quite enjoyed filming the trip! I do admit that I went a little overboard with the speed, but it was my first time editing a personal video with a new editing program.

At the beginning of the trip, we went to Northern Arizona University to meet up with two of my friends from middle school! It was a last minute trip, so we only got a cup of hot chocolate at Starbucks and walked around the campus a bit. Little did I know how windy it was, and I was only wearing jeggings. /: It was so nice catching up with them a bit and see how they have been all of these years, but unfortunately we did not get to take any pictures together.

Afterwards, we went to Wendy’s to have a small meal and decide where we were going to go next. Wing Mountain closed at 4 p.m., so we decided to make our way up there just to see if there were any open fields to play in. Luckily, we found a little field on the side of the road to play in! I couldn’t contain myself when I saw all of the open area to make a snowman and play around in. 🙂

Flagstaff, AZ 2016

Of course we took a few pictures before actually going into the snow, because how can you not take any pictures on a vacation?! Once we finished, I practically darted into the snow to go build my first snowman! It was a process, but well worth it to create Oswald! What an accomplishment he was to me; my first ever snowman! 😀 After we finished him, we wrestled a bit in the snow and explored the woods a bit. It was such a magical feeling to be there and experience nature’s beauty. It saddened me to leave, but it was such a memorable trip that I have captured in the video.

My boyfriend, Donald, was kind enough to be the film-man while I got to soak up the snow and all of its goodness! It was a bit rough to make this video flow together well with all of the different random clips, but  I will get better as time goes on. I hope  you enjoy my video, and don’t get too dizzy from the shaking in the beginning. 😉 ALSO, please provide feedback with what would be good video ideas and what content you’d like to see! I will be experimenting a lot, so I hope you enjoy what is to come. 🙂

 

Thank you again and have an amazing weekend! ❤

 

-What kind of videos should I start making?

-Do you enjoy the snow or the heat?

-Have you ever made a snowman?

———————-

 Instagram -> @hunnny.buns

 Twitter -> @Hunnnybuns_

 Snapchat -> @nataliexdarling

 Facebook -> /nataliexdarling

 E-mail -> lovenataliemarie@gmail.com

 Tumblr -> hunnnybuns

We’ve Got the Power in our Hands

Facebook. Twitter. Pinterest. Instagram. Tumblr. Youtube.

Those are some of the names of the largest social media websites on the internet. There are millions of people that long on or go to these websites every single day. They hold the attention of both past and present generations. People are on their iPhones, iPads, iPods, Androids, tablets, etc. constantly liking, commenting, and sharing content. It’s pretty hard to go outside into the public and not see someone on their phone.

These websites hold influence to many actions and opinions, especially to the newest generation today. Pretty much every time I go out and about, I see an electronic in a child’s hand. I’ve heard, and seen, children talking about their profiles. They use derogatory terms like “thots” and other profanity, making judgments about themselves (like saying that they’re “soooo fat”), and especially judgments of other people for being different or not keeping up with what’s “cool.”

In my opinion, social media is a VERY powerful thing. It’s where people connect, learn new things or learn about what’s going on in the world, and open up their horizons to new ideas. BUT it also has the power of persuasion. Companies send out messages on what beauty “truly” is or what people need to do/buy to be accepted or “cool.” They have the power, on social media, to distort images of what people “need” just so they can get a quick buck.

I admit, I am constantly checking social media, and all throughout my scrolling, I’ve seen negativity on each of the websites listed above in some shape or form. People degrading other people for being different or not reaching their standards. As much as some people don’t want to believe it, words are a powerful thing. Beauty has been distorted by words and images. (You know what they say, “a picture is worth a thousand words”). What’s essentially “cool” has been altered by words over the years. What’s “wrong” has been distorted by words. Hate has been promoted. Envy has been promoted. Unrealistic expectations have been promoted.

In this situation, I don’t believe the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” holds true here. I’ve fallen victim to, along with other people, judgment, envy, and hatred.

Social media has so much power, and in all honesty, it scares me. It’s worries me for the generation now and for future generations to come. Technology is everywhere and it is constantly expanding every day. Its intention was for good, but there has been so much negativity that has grown over the years on it. Yes, I agree whole heartedly that people have the right to speak their minds. I respect that people have their own views, but I think that people should spread more positvity rather than negativity.

“Your flame doesn’t grow any higher by blowing out anothers.” -Unknown.

-No questions.. Just your thoughts.

Let’s Chat!

 Instagram -> @lovenataliemarie

 Twitter -> @xolovenatalie

 Snapchat -> @nataliexdarling

 Facebook -> /nataliexdarling

 E-mail -> lovenataliemarie@gmail.com

Happy Easter!

Good morning/afternoon/evening & Happy Easter! 🙂

I hope everyone today has an amazing day with the people they love and makes them happy! Today is a day to celebrate, so enjoy the festivities and the good vibes that come along with it! I will be going to my aunt’s house for a big dinner with most of my family! I got to have a Pre-Easter celebration with my boyfriend and his mom. 🙂 We colored eggs (mainly) and she gave me this sweet Easter basket with a duck!

Enjoy the day, and I hope to hear all about it in either the comments or on other blogs! ❤

Let’s Chat!

Instagram -> @lovenataliemarie

Twitter -> @visionesque

Snapchat -> @nataliexdarling

Facebook -> /nataliexdarling

E-mail -> lovenataliemarie@gmail.com

Goal Talk for April 2015

Good morning/afternoon/evening! 

At the beginning of this year, I made a promise to myself that I would set goals each month and do my very best to complete them all. I set multiple little goals to do, and those add up to the major goals that I have. It may seem like a lot, but they are little tweaks I can make to my life every day. I am thinking of doing goal posts at the beginning of each month and track my progress along the way! I already know that April is going to be an exciting month for me, so I set goals that I know I will more than likely achieve! I have a few things in the works, so some of these things will make sense later on. 🙂

Goals for April 2015:

1. Practice working on handstands! (I can do headstands, but I have been really hesitant on moving up to handstands.)

2. Be more consistent with my blogging. (My spark has come back, and I have quite a few projects in the works. :))

3. Get my license.

4. Save up my money and hopefully buy a car! (Super excited for this!)

5. Incorporate more HIITs into my workouts.

6. Drink more smoothies. (I started having a smoothie a day for the past week, and I’ve been loving it! Yummm.)

7. Reduce my coffee drinking down to one cup a day. (It’s been reaching up to four cups a day. :o)

8. Start drinking green tea again.

9. Don’t be so nervous to try out new exercises.

10. Stretch after every workout. (VERY important for your health.)

-What are some of your goals for April? 

Let’s Chat!

Instagram -> @lovenataliemarie

Twitter -> @visionesque

Snapchat -> @nataliexdarling

Facebook -> /nataliexdarling

E-mail -> lovenataliemarie@gmail.com

Dear Past Self,

*Disclaimer: Very personal.*

 

Dear Past Self,

 

I’m sorry for all of the pain I’ve put you through.

 

I’m sorry for the self doubt on your own existence. I’m sorry for the endless regrets and blaming you for everything even when it wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry for making you waste endless hours on tracking, planning, and weighing food. You gave in to so many diet fads and lies. I destroyed you, but now I am repairing you. I sorry for the constant beatings I put upon you with endless hours of exercise. I’m sorry for doing 3+ hours a day and still not being satisfied. I fatigued you, I made your bones brittle, your hair fell out, you were told that you looked like you had cancer. I’m sorry for the late night scars across your wrists and waist. You didn’t deserve the physical pain you thought you deserved. I’m sorry for the lethal thoughts of feeling worthless. You are so much more than you could ever image. I’m sorry for giving into the eating disorders, the starvation, the purging, the binging, the picking apart. I’m sorry for the overwhelming sadness of depression. I’m sorry for all of the questioning, the stress, the pressure, the abusive words, giving into the pressure, etc. I am honestly sorry for everything.

I know I’ve put you through hell and back. I know there are scars that are both internal and external that are constant reminders. I know it’s hard to trust people, but there are people that love you. They love you and all of your imperfections. They want you here.. I want you here. You have a mother and father that loves you ever lastingly. Yes, it wasn’t easy back then through the depression, therapy, and disorders, but they never stopped loving you. They were confused and didn’t know what to do. You have a sister that, even though she can make it seem like your life is hell, is proud of you and does not want to lose you. Relationships with siblings are not always easy, but through all the struggles comes a stronger relationship. You have a boyfriend that makes you feel beautiful. He treats you like an absolute princess and loves all of you, even your imperfections. You have friends that are here for you and accept you. You’re living life like you’ve always wanted to.

 

I cannot express how proud I am of you for fighting like a warrior through an endless amount of battles. There were cuts and bruises given along the way, but you did it. You fought the inner demons, and I know you can do it if they come again. You’ve made an imprint on the lives of so many. You’ve found your aspiration to teach the special needs after college and also those who want to transition into a healthier lifestyle by becoming a personal trainer.

 

You’re happy and you learned to accept yourself. You’ve learned that the number on the scale does not matter and no numbers define you. You don’t weigh your food, and you are conquering the foods you use to fear. You are living a life of balance, and it is making everyone around you happy. You’re healthy and strong. You’re strong physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

 

I’m not going to promise you that life from here on out is going to be easy, but knowing what you’ve overcome, it’s going to be so much more easier to get through. I cannot even begin to tell you how beautiful you are. There is so much I want to say to you, but just know that I wouldn’t be there person I am today if it wasn’t for you. Thank you.

 

Love,

Your present self.

 

What Have I Been Up Too?

Good morning and happy Monday, everyone! It has been quite some time since I’ve last said that. I know.. I know.. in my last post I said I would be on more, but life got a little hectic. A lot has gone on, and I have been getting the urge to start blogging more again. I guess I needed some time off to, because I felt as if I needed to blog four out of the seven days of the week. Some things have stayed the same, but some things have changed. Hopefully you have a cup of coffee near you (like I do) and let’s catch up. 🙂

1. I got glasses. I am absolutely in love with my glasses. They have such a vintage look to them. I’ve gotten quite a few compliments on them by people I know and random strangers.

2. I have been taking courses online. I personally chose to do this, because I work better on my own schedule. It is far less stressful, and I prefer the one-on-one attention I get whenever needed. The work load is quite big, but I am enjoying my classes, and I enjoy the comfort of being in my own home.

3. I’ve started doing pilates again along with lifting. I began my active lifestyle with pilates. It’s something I know and love. Of course I still love lifting weights, but I also love the creativity with pilates. I’m still working on yoga, but I find pilates more appealing.

4. I have been all about these pancakes lately. I’ve had them quite a few times already, and they are absolutely delicious. I will be posting the recipe tomorrow. 🙂

5. The weather is finally (somewhat) cooling down now, and I have been enjoying walking my dogs in the morning. They were not able to during the warmer months, so they are definitely excited to roam the neighborhood every morning. The only problem is that they are pretty old, so the walks are short and they keep tripping over their own feet. I love to see their excitement as I put on their leashes, though.

6. I’m reaching a point in my life where I am finally achieving balance. I am actually starting to hangout with family, friends, and my boyfriend more. I’m not worried about skipping the gym or about what I am eating. Yes, I am still eating a majority of nutritious foods, but I am not stressing about if I have treats. You guys don’t understand how happy I am to say that. 🙂

7. I’m being more social on Instagram, Snapchat, and Tumblr. If any of you care, my usernames are..

IG: lovenataliemarie

Snapchat: nataliexdarling

Tumblr: creativelyexpressed.tumblr.com

8. I have started driving!

I will start to be more active in the blog world, I promise. I just needed the time away to focus on my life. I’m at a place where I feel I am in control. I’ve missed you all so much, and I want to know what you’ve been up to! Please tell me in the comments below!

Have a fantastic day. ❤

———————–

Connect with me!

Instagram -> @lovenataliemarie

Twitter -> @xolovenatalie

Facebook -> /nataliexdarling

E-mail -> lovenataliemarie@gmail.com

Letting Go

Hey, everyone! Remember me? I know I have been in and out of the blog world over the course of the past few months, but I did it all for good reasons. Of course I am still reading blogs, but I have been really trying to work on myself. For quite some time I haven’t really felt like myself. You know what I mean? After sounding like a broken disc, I finally did reevaluate ALL aspects of my life: physical being, mentality, spiritual side, emotional being, relationships, my eating habits, and all that good jazz. What I found was that I was subconsciously holding onto aspect of my past that I thought I let go. Over the course of the past few months I finally let go. I’m about to get deep.. I mean real deep.. You ready for this?

 

Physically I let go of… objects from the past that no longer need to be in my life (old gifts from past relationships), the notebooks/letters/notes from the time period during my depression, deleting contact with the people I don’t talk to anymore, photos with people from past relations with people that only brought me down, sad songs, and old clothes. I never thought that letting go of all of this stuff would just release this huge weight off of my shoulders. Once I burned and threw out the past, I smiled. It was hard for me to do, and I had second thoughts, but what was the point of holding onto the past when it would possibly hold me back from moving forward in the future. Not seeing and knowing that I got rid of the bad felt good. Do yourself a favor and do the same. I know it may be hard, but what’s the point of holding on at this point?

 

 

Mentally I let go of… the perception that I had to look and act a certain away, counting calories, holding onto feelings of the past, hurting over broken relationships, the negativity that was in my lift, thinking I have to be strong all of the time, the barrier that kept the tears in, the idea that I wasn’t good enough, the idea that I wasn’t strong enough, the idea that I wasn’t worthy of what I am. For so long I talked down upon myself, because I thought that all I did was mess up. I gave up on everything I couldn’t do right the first time. I was so weak. This was probably one of the hardest to do. I’ve set up so many walls in my life. It was hard breaking them down. It wasn’t a one day ordeal.. it took several months. I did this with the help of positive self talk, watching videos online of positive messages, reading, and talking to people. The chains finally feel broken. I finally feel free in my mind.

 

Spiritually I let go of… the barrier that was holding me back from God. Yes, I believe in God. I will admit it.. for so long I blamed God for all I couldn’t do. I know.. I know.. I feel ashamed for that. After praying and asking for forgiveness, I feel his love. I have put faith into him to take control. I’ve humbled myself to admit that I needed help.. I needed help in the process of cleansing the negativity and removing the boulders from the shoulders. I can’t even begin to describe how happy I have been since this all started.

 

Emotionally I let go of… all the negativity that was surrounding my life, the feeling of being worthless, the lingering eating disorder thoughts, the lingering thoughts of depression, my feelings from past relationships, feeling alone, feeling like I wasn’t strong enough, and basically anything that was just bringing me down. Like letting go of the mental aspects, this was hard for me to do. It was a day to day reoccurrence I saw on social media, television, and letting myself think of these feelings. Working with letting go of the others helped aid in this process. Will they be gone completely? I doubt it, but I will do everything I can to keep these feelings away.

 

I can’t even begin to describe how free and happy I feel. I have definitely been feeling like myself again. I actually even feel better than I did before. It really is amazing how much a cleanse can be for you. I have realized so much about myself over the course of the past few months. I am not afraid to feel my feelings. I’m not afraid to praise myself. I am not afraid to be confident. I’m not afraid to hold back. Of course I am humbling myself every day. I know I am not perfect. I’m just going to be the best person that I can be.

 

 

I will be back on the blog world more often now. I needed time for myself. We all do.

 

-Have you ever done a personal cleanse?

-What makes you happy?

-What makes you feel empowered?

-Your thoughts. 🙂

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Connect with me!

Instagram -> @myhealthlyjourney

Twitter -> @xolovenatalie

Pinterest -> @xolovenatalie

E-mail -> lovenataliemarie@gmail.com