As you may already know, this week is National Eating Disorder Awareness (NEDA) week. I hold this week VERY true and dear to my heart. If you weren’t aware, I suffered from not just one, but multiple eating disorders. Wow.. were those words hard to type. My disorders ranged from binging, to bulimia, to annorexia, to a body image disorder. I am actually in recovery as of right now.
Thank you, Amanda. ❤
1. I’ve only heard NEDA mentioned within the blog world, not out in the real world. I would inform my classmates if they knew what this week was and if they even knew what NEDA stood for. Did I get a big fat no. The number of eating disorder increases every year, and campaigns have been made, but why is this week not mentioned on the news? Eating disorders are deadly and people need to be aware of how rapid and widespread they are. I have been LOVING reading about other bloggers thoughts on this topic, because I feel like they get me and understand.
2. Like I mentioned earlier, I am in recovery. Yes, I still have food fears. Yes, I mentally count calories in my head. Yes, I get uneasy about schedules, what’s being cooked, and how it is cooked. I shy away from going back for more food or honoring all of my cravings. I admit to all of that. BUT, I am getting better with my food. Seriously, this past year I am finally eating more.
3. I guess you’re wondering why I developed so many disorders? Well, it all started in eighth grade. Man, were those the carefree years before hand.. It wasn’t until eighth grade when the messages of the media smacked me in the face. I realized I was over wight beforehand, but did I care about my body image? No. Did I actually enjoy food? Yes. Eighth grade was the time when I started paying attention to what people were saying. I started noticing how being skinny was the definition of beauty. Slowly I started covering up my body by wearing jackets and jeans every day (even in the sweltering heat of good ol’ AZ). It then led to eating less and less every day. Eventually, I wasn’t eating at all. I was always fatigued. My hunger was virtually gone. I lost 100+ pounds, my hair was falling out, my nails were brittle, I stopped getting my period. Ultimately, I slipped into a depression.
4. In my free time, I used to spend hours upon hours on tumblr scrolling through posts of skinny girls and how happy they looked. I thought that starving myself would make me happy (DAFUQ.) I obsessed over thee “diet rules” of going low carb, no fat, not eating past this time, eat every 2-3 hours, yadda yadda yadda. I wrote them down and had reminders everywhere.
5. You know what the really scary part of it was? My friends or family didn’t really notice until I had gotten down to 98 pounds at a 5’4 height. For years they didn’t seem to notice. All they thought was that my endless working out was paying off. I burned every single calorie I may have consumed. My friends thought the same. It wasn’t until when people hugged me that they felt the pressure from my bones and how it would leave me grasping for air.
6. Recovery is a choice. Recovery is a choice I made. Honestly, you can’t force something/someone to change, because by nature, it/they will resist. I saw how much it effected my friends, family, school, health, and relationships. Granted it took me quite some time, but I am grateful that I finally recognized what I was doing to myself.
7. One thing I have to stress about recovery is that it is a journey, but you are STRONG enough to conquer the inner thoughts and monsters. There are times where the thoughts are over powering, but you are a WARRIOR, you are FIERCE, you are STRONGER than they ever will be. Ups and downs along the way are bound to happen, but they do not define you. They are learning experiences.
8. I am ALWAYS here for you. I promise. Tweet me, e-mail me, comment below, heck- ask for my number and you can call or text me!
9. I love food. 😀
10. I hope you are having an amazing day. ❤
-What are your thoughts?
-What advice do you have?
-What’s your favorite food?
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